Data's Conundrum
by Vulcanprincess221b
Summary: Our favorite android finds he is experiencing a phenomenon that he hasn't experienced before. He enlists his friends to help him out. (I am a little stumped at how to continue this story, so any advice would be greatly appreciated.)


Chapter One

"Sir, I believe there has been established in me, a human error." Articulated Data.

"What are you talking about, Data?" Mused Riker, still concentrating on his work.

"I believe I am... how do I express this in the most optimal manner? ...in love."

This caught Commander Riker a bit off guard. "What? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's impossible." He laughed.

"Well, I think that is the best way for me to describe the physical...shall we say...malfunctions that I have been experiencing recently." The android cocked his head as if thinking about how to explain his predicament. "I have little knowledge about the human emotion of love, but what I do know, commander, corresponds with what I have been encountering of late."

Commander Riker turned to look at Data with a curious expression on his face. "Who is this person that has you so unnerved?" He inquired. "I'm assuming it _is_ a person, as you are the only android onboard this vessel." He smirked.

"Yes sir, a person...human actually, from Earth...more specifically from Ireland...the Emerald Isle, the Home of the Blarney stone, the Land of saints and scholars, the..." He was cut off.

"That's enough Data, I just want to know the lass's name."

"Her name is Aileen Conroy, sir. She is a Lieutenant in engineering." The android continued.

"Yes, I'm familiar with her, nice girl, seems a bit shy though."

"Yes sir, she is quite shy. However, she does not seem to have too much trouble talking to me." Data explained. "I, on the other hand, seem not to be able to form a cogent sentence when speaking to her." He continued. "I become incapable of performing many of my major cognitive functions when I see her smile at me."

"That isn't good, Mr. Data." Responded Commander Riker. "Perhaps you ought to see if Geordi would run a diagnostic on your program."

"Geordi ran a diagnostic just last Tuesday, there was no unusual activity detected in my positronic matrix. However, I will ask him to repeat the diagnostic if this phenomenon continues to bother me." Responded Data. "Usually, I am just fine, until I see her smile. I saw her this evening, at Ten Forward. I do not believe she thinks me capable of romantic emotions, which is why she is able to speak to me without a problem, but I could hardly remember my own name when she came over to say hello."

"I see." Replied Commander Riker. "Well, I'm not sure why you have come to me with this information. Why haven't you talked to Geordi about this? You're closer to him than you are to me."

"Sir, I believe that you are technically closer to me than he is, as he is in the engineering room, and you and I are on the bridge." Data responded.

Riker snorted. "I meant that your relationship with Lt. Commander LaForge is stronger than your relationship with me."

"Oh, Yes, sir, I have thought about talking to him, but as you may be aware, he is not very well versed in the language of love, if his relationship with Christy Henshaw is anything to go by."

Riker chuckled. "Oh, I see where you are going with this. You want me to help you talk to her. Yes, well I may have just the thing for you."

The two of them stepped off of the bridge and into the turbo lift. "Holodeck 3." Riker announced.

"Oh, sir, I do not know if this is the time for Holodeck programs."

"Just trust me, Mr. Data."

Chapter Two

As they stepped off of the turbo lift, Data started thinking out loud. "Sir, if I am not being too intrusive, what is this Holodeck program you have in mind?"

Commander Riker simply gave a small smile, and they continued walking toward the Holodeck.

As they got to the door of the Holodeck, Riker announced, "Computer, prepare Holodeck program Riker5221a, but replace the character of Deanna Troi with the character listed as Aileen Conroy." Data gave him a curious look.

"Counselor Troi, sir?"

Riker gave a half smile and continued. "Start the program from the beginning."

As soon as they stepped into the Holodeck, Commander Riker's com badge beeped. "Picard to Commander Riker."

Riker pressed his badge and responded. "Riker here. Yes, Captain?"

"I need you in my ready room tout de suite." The captain commanded.

"Yes, sir. I'll be right there." Replied Riker. "Data, I think you'll be able to figure this thing out on your own. Good luck!" He left the Holodeck.

Data looked around at the scene that was unfolding in front of him. It was an unfamiliar location, but with some basic environmental information, he was able to conclude that the scene was from a café in Tuscany, Italy, probably around the early 21st century. There were at least five Italian flags that he could see. He was definitely outside, he could see the skyline from where he stood, and the sun setting in the distance. At the café, were set up several wooden chairs and tables covered in checkered table cloths. Above these, at the front of the café, he saw two windows with boxes of flowers lining the bottom, and a door painted bright red. Above the door, there was a sign that read _Caffé della Buona Vita._ Above the sign the roof was lined with a dark brown awning, and the whole building was covered with ivy.

"How interesting." Data thought out loud to himself. "An Italian café _is_ considered to be _very_ romantic among humans." He sat down at the table closest to him and waited. He wasn't really sure what he was waiting for, but he wasn't concerned because he trusted Commander Riker.

As he sat at the table waiting, for who knows what, he started to go over in his mind all the interactions he had had with Aileen. He started to wonder if it was possible that he had some kind of mechanical malfunction? This phenomenon of not being able to remember his own name when interacting with this human woman is not typical for him, an android, who was not supposed to have human emotions. However, there was no doubt that he had feelings for Aileen that differed from those that he felt for his other crew members and friends. Typically, he experienced a sense of fondness for his friends, and felt a little bit of emptiness when they weren't around; he couldn't pinpoint exactly how he felt about Aileen, but it was different.

He saw the door to the café open and close several times believing that it would be Aileen, but it wasn't. Commander Riker must have programmed this scene to have multiple other holographic figures. Why, he didn't know, but he was becoming impatient. What kind of program was this anyway?

Data wondered if he was supposed to be doing something while he was waiting. This was a holographic program after all—things happened for a reason.

He saw the door to the café open again, and there she was, Aileen. She was so beautiful to Data, who usually remained relatively neutral when it came to the aesthetic presentation of humanoids. What made her different?

She had long, curly reddish-brown hair that went to the middle of her back, but several ringlets were hanging over her shoulder, and a couple of loose hairs were flying behind her as she walked. She had bright green eyes that were shaped like almonds, and her skin was very pallid and well maintained. She had a smattering of freckles around her eyes and nose that accentuated her features in a way that made her look like she was wearing makeup, but he knew she wasn't. She was wearing a white blouse with short sleeves that had lace around the bottom; blue jeans that were tight enough to hug her hips and ankles but not so tight that he could see things he knew were not intended for him to see; and pinkish-grey walking shoes that seem to be pretty well worn, but not in a bad way. She also had a light pink cardigan hanging over her arm, it was early evening, which meant that it would probably be getting rather chilly soon. "What a sensible woman." Data thought to himself.

As she walked toward him, he tried to remind himself that this was a Holoprogram, and that she, in fact, was not the real Aileen, but a very accurate, very lifelike holographic rendering of the woman. She sat down in the chair across from him. His mind was racing with thoughts about what he will say to her.

"Hi Data," she began. "I'm so glad you invited me to this café, it's so lovely here." She looked so relaxed sitting across from him, but Data felt rather tense at the prospect of having to make conversation with her. It wasn't that he didn't have anything to say to her, he had a lot to say to her, actually. It was _how_ to say it that concerned him. He supposed that was why he was here in the holodeck, and not talking to the actual Aileen.

"Yes, Aileen, I am... also very... grateful that you have... joined me here this evening." Data replied. "There is something... I have been wanting to speak to you about for some time."

"And what would that be?" Inquired Aileen.

"I am...in love with you!" Data spat out quickly.

Chapter Three

"Damn it!" Data cursed. "No good. Computer, freeze program. Restart from exactly two minutes and 15 seconds ago."

The program restarted from when Aileen was walking toward the table toward him. "Hi Data, I'm so glad you invited me to this café, it's so lovely here." She repeated exactly as before.

Hearing her speak the same words that she had spoken earlier, helped Data fully recognize that this was indeed a holographic program. He started to feel calmer and felt, and hoped that he could keep his composure this time. He sat up a bit straighter in his chair, crossed his legs, and leaned forward to rest his elbow on the table and rest his chin in his hand, with an air of casual nonchalance. He had seen Commander Riker perform this action many times while interacting with women.

"You look lovely tonight, Aileen." Data remarked. The holographic Aileen blushed, and pushed one of her ringlets behind her ear. She looked down at her hands which she had resting on the table, smiled shyly, and looked back up toward Data.

"That's very kind of you to say." Aileen responded. "I've ordered us a couple of cappuccinos, I hope that's alright."

Data considered this. He was an android and didn't have taste buds or any need to eat or drink. He could pretend though. He could consume the beverage and pretend to enjoy it, for her benefit.

"Oh, yes, um...that sounds just fine." Data answered. He looked toward the café door, just as the waiter was coming to deliver their drinks. The waiter placed their drinks on the table. "Thank you, sir." Data said, but his attention was still on Aileen.

After letting their drinks cool for a little while, they began sipping casually as they spoke to each other. Listening to her speak, Data thought about his past study of different Irish accents. Aileen must be from somewhere near Belfast, as she has an acute Northern Irish accent. "Aileen, I hope I am not being too forward when I say that I think you are a magnificent person."

Aileen blushed again. "You are sweet, Data." She smiled as she set down her cup. She reached out to touch his hand lightly. Luckily, he had his cup resting on the table, or he might have spilled his drink, as he jumped a little when she touched him. He recovered quickly, and grabbed her hand.

"Computer, freeze program." Data commanded. The scene in the holodeck froze. "I cannot take this anymore. I need to see the real Aileen." It was probably too late to see her tonight. "Computer, what is the time?"

"The current time is Zero Zero Thirty Hours." The computer replied.

"I will have to wait until morning to speak to her." Data said to himself. "Computer, end program." The scene that had previously been frozen, disappeared entirely in front of his eyes. He exited the holodeck and proceeded to walk back to his quarters.

As he didn't need sleep, he often found it difficult to pass the time while others were sleeping. He would often play his violin, which was something he found could pass the time quite easily. However, tonight he didn't feel much like playing. He was eager to see Aileen; the real Aileen.

Chapter Four

Data ended up spending most of the night playing chess against the computer. This was something he could focus on and keep his mind off of Aileen.

"Computer, what is the time?" Data asked.

"The current time is Zero Six Forty-Five Hours" The computer answered.

Data knew that Aileen wasn't on duty until the afternoon, and today was his day off. He considered going to see her after she finished her breakfast, but where could he meet her? He didn't want to come off as desperate or annoying. He just wanted to see her. He decided it would be best to wait to see her at Ten Forward when her shift ends. He knew she went to Ten Forward every evening with her friends. This felt like a better idea. It would also give him time to think about what he will say to her.

"Perhaps I should talk to Geordi." Data thought to himself. "After all, who knows me better than he does? Perhaps I should ask him to run another diagnostic. Just to make sure my cognitive subroutines are functioning at optimal levels."

"Computer, locate Geordi LaForge." Data inquired.

"Lieutenant Commander Geordi LaForge is currently in Engineering." the computer responded.

Data walked with purpose to Engineering, and found Geordi at his station working on warp core maintenance. Geordi looked up at Data briefly before returning his focus to his work. "Hey, Data." He said calmly.

"Hello Geordi, I was wondering if you would not mind doing another diagnostic on my positronic matrix?" Data asked.

"Little busy right now, buddy." Geordi responded. "And didn't I just run a diagnostic three days ago? Is there a problem?" He kept his focus on his work, but gave Data a concerned glance.

Well..." Data began. "There is something I realize I neglected to disclose during our pre-diagnostic discussion. I have been experiencing some issues with my cognitive subroutines, but the issues only occur when I see Lt. Conroy. I believe I am in love with her."

Geordi took a step back and looked at Data in amused disbelief. "Whoa, buddy! That's jumping to conclusions don't you think?"

"Jumping to...?" Data repeated, and cocked his head as he searched his database for a definition for this phrase. "Ah, yes! 'Jumping to conclusions', an idiom used to denote a person's hasty and often logically fallacious conclusion or assumption. Making a decision based on insufficient evidence. To come to a premature decision. To form conclusions based on faulty..." He was cut off.

"Yes, Data, you don't know much about love, so you couldn't possibly know if this is what you are experiencing. Also, you don't have human emotion subroutines, so you can't feel love." Geordi posited.

"Then please, Geordi, help me to figure out why I am experiencing these malfunctions!" Data pleaded.

"Alright, buddy, don't worry. We'll figure this out, just give me a few minutes to finish what I'm working on."

"I am not worried." Data began. "I am merely curious as to the cause of this phenomenon."

"No problem, bud. Just let me make sure Dr. Crusher has room in sick bay for us to use for a proper examination." Geordi said. He pressed his combadge. "LaForge to Dr. Crusher."

"Yes Geordi? I'm a little busy, what is it?" Came the reply from Dr. Crusher.

"I was just wondering if it was okay for Data and I to come to sick bay to rerun his diagnostic procedure?" Geordi continued.

"Yes, you can come by. Is anything the matter?" Dr. Crusher inquired.

"Just some minor subroutine malfunctions I want to take a closer look at." Geordi replied.

"Alright, just keep the disruption to a minimum, I'm just swamped with work at the moment."

"No problem. LaForge out."

The two friends walked together to sick bay as Geordi tried to coax more information about Data's experience out of him. "Data, when did you first start noticing these issues?"

"I am not entirely sure. I believe I may have been having these problems for several weeks, but I was busy with work, and was not paying much attention to it. However, I found myself feeling unnerved, as some might call it, just the other day when I was at Ten Forward and Aileen came to say hello." Data explained.

"I see. Well, we'll just have to see what the problem is." The two of them stepped into sick bay. "Data, go ahead and lie down on one of the biobeds and I'll begin the diagnostic. I am going to perform a level 3 diagnostic, which means I am going to have to power you down."

"Yes, very well, Geordi." Data lay on his stomach, positioning himself on the biobed so that Geordi could access his deactivation switch as well as the panel to his positronic matrix.

"Just relax, and we'll get this all sorted out." The last thing Data heard was Geordi opening the hatch on his back and pressing his deactivation switch to power him down.

Chapter Five

"Data?" Geordi inquired. "Data, I have finished the diagnostic, can you hear me?"

Data slowly opened his eyes. He was still lying on his stomach, so all he could see was the floor of sickbay. "Yes, Geordi, I can hear you." He was feeling a bit disoriented, as he often did after being powered down for a period of time. "Did you find anything? How long was I down?" Data never knew how long he had been deactivated, it sometimes made him feel vulnerable.

"Uh, I'd say about two hours and fifteen minutes or so." Geordi responded. "And yes, I did find something rather concerning. Did you know you have about forty-five minutes of unaccounted for data missing from your memory banks?" Geordi continued. "I must have missed it when I was doing your diagnostic on Tuesday, because the missing memory files are from three weeks ago. Stardate 45242 to be exact. Do you remember what you were doing that day, Data?"

Data sat up and began searching his memory banks for this exact stardate. "From the information that I have, that day was a day just like any other day. Do you know the precise time from which the memory files are missing?"

Geordi rechecked his diagnostic readings. "Yeah, um, 0812 hours until 0857 hours."

"You are right sir. I have no recollection of what was happening during that time." Data said. "Perhaps we should check the security records for that day."

"You go ahead and check with Lieutenant Worf on that, bud. I need to get back to my station." Geordi responded. "Let me know what you find out." Geordi left sickbay and began walking back to Engineering.

Data thought about this. He didn't particularly want to bother Worf while he was on duty, but he was incredibly curious about this new discovery. Perhaps it would be okay to at least ask. Data liked Lieutenant Worf, he would consider him a friend, but it was often difficult to predict how Worf would react to interactions.


End file.
